Something Somebody Somewhere
by Harmonic Friction
Summary: He smells like cologne and cheap smokes, kisses like he's hungry, laughs like a sickness and makes perfect grades and hurts kids. He is everything and so he's not anything.


_Something _Somebody _Somewhere_

* * *

Big D is _nice_

she thinks, tugging on a strand of black straight hair,

slick as the rainwater running rivers through it

Dudley is Big D and Big D is everything a girl could want

He smells like cologne and cigarettes and cheap weed

He kisses like he's hungry

She wants to be appetizing

She wants to be loved

Devoured like something somebody somewhere can't survive without

He kisses her _and _he knows her name

It's a plus

* * *

The Whale is _stupid_

he decides, rolling his eyes and massaging the fatal birthmark on his forehead

between messy bangs and furrowed eyebrows

Dudley is The Whale and The Whale is everything a cousin wouldn't want

He belittles everything with his elephantine presence and he's a pest

The Whale laughs like a sickness

_He _wants to have a normal family member

_He _wants The Whale to leave him alone

Sit in silence like something somebody somewhere can't suffer without

The Whale's forgotten to tease him _and _stopped smirking?

It's a plus

* * *

Dudders is _adorable_

she knows this, tugging the water out of one of his jerseys

then carefully placing it on an iron hanger above the sink

Dudley is Dudders and Dudders is everything a mother could want

He smiles like gold and he's always so polite for Vernon's company

He sighs like he's distressed

She wants to help him

She wants him to let her

Used up like something somebody somewhere can't function without

He says he loves her _and _he does his homework

It's a plus

* * *

Dudley is _cool_

he sighs, tugging on his shirts that always ride up his slender hips

stupid faggy figure only making life harder

Dudley is just _Dudley _and he's everything a bloke could want

He broods like an adult and cusses and licks the cream out of snack cakes

He kicks the shit out of Mark Evans like he means it

And _he _wants to be Dudley's Number One

_He _wants Dudley to love him

Held close like something somebody somewhere can't sleep without

Dudley says they're best mates _and _he has big biceps?

It's a plus

* * *

D is _scary_

he thinks, caressing a bruised shoulder, ripe purple blackeye broad and wide

and his legs burn from running, folded underneath him by the swing set

Dudley is _D_ and D's everything a kid doesn't want

He _smokes! _And he's _huge_. He'll kill you if you call him fat

He looks at you with a hatred

So _he _wants to report him

_He _wants to be safe from harm

Skip rope like something somebody somewhere can do without

D's on vacation _and _his gang's been slacking?

It's a plus

* * *

Dudley Dursley is a _shit_

every day, she wishes she could find the words again to call his mother

but the memory of that screeching voice holds her back and so he holds the power

Dudley is Dudley _Dursley _and Dudley Dursley is everything a teacher wishes she'll never meet

He's selfish, spoiled and cruel. He never completes his homework and talks like an idiot and yet there's something sort of shrewd about the ties and the bribes, like he _plans all of it_

She wants to give him a failing grade

She wants to catch him doing something wrong

Tear up his term paper like something somebody somewhere has nightmares about

He's been out with a flu _and _Piers Polkiss came down with the same thing?

It's a plus

* * *

(He is _nothing)_

_in the mirror, there's a person. At school someone's talking. At home, the telly's on. And I am not listening to me or you._

_I am_ _Big D,_ and _D, _and _Dudders, _and _a Whale _and _Dudley Dursley_ and I'm everything I always wanted and didn't want

(He is _everything)_

I do things like roll cigs and spit, like throw rocks and punch kids, like think about tits and eat bacon sandwiches and say things Mum and Dad want to hear

I walk like I'm tough

And I don't think it through

I don't want to think too hard because it feels good

(Lost outside or inside like something somebody somewhere loved and hated so much that he wasn't anything)

I've been ignoring everyone _and _they've been ignoring me

I've been eating everything _and _not throwing up

I've been lifting weights _and _losing weight

I've been snogging her _and _she lets me touch her arse

I've been passing English _and _winning matches

I've been (all of this) happy _and (_none of this) confused

Sometimes

it's a plus

* * *


End file.
